
Pleasure, not performance
One of the main themes of my work with people is focusing on pleasure in sexual encounters, rather than performance. So many of us show up to sexual encounters with a lot of expectations and pressure about "performing" and "doing it right" or "doing it well." What do we look like? What do we smell like? Are we doing our partner exactly right? Do they want it faster? Slower? Are we hard enough? Wet enough? Turned on enough? Having an orgasm soon enough? Having an orgasm the ri

Do you have a lower sex drive than your partner?
A common concern among couples is that one partner desires more sex than the other. That may be more frequent sex, more "adventurous" sex, longer sexual encounters... either way, one person feels they are not getting all they need, and the other person feels badgered.
It's normal to have a different sex drive than your partner (though it is nice when they match up). For some people sex is like eating or breathing -- a necessary human function that keeps everything running t